I hate this kind of reasoning. It comes up a lot

“My wife is a would-be immigrant so I am sympathetic”

Or sometimes

“My partner is half X So I understand discrimination against X”

Or even sometimes

“I am in category Y so there’s no way I can hate people in category Y”

I don’t think that line of reasoning makes sense. People often times carve out mental exemptions for people close to them that they care about, not for everyone in the same category. Further more, it is totally possible to love a person but not every quality about them. Also just because you are close to someone doesn’t mean you understand entirely their struggles