Ironically there are weak arguments generalized from poor statements made by some unthoughtful people in many places.

> when all those arguments explain the gender pay gap

Yes. Which is why you focus on the delta. The end goal is for that to be more equal via breaking down the societal structures we've created where men are expected to take on more risk and women are pressured against from taking more dangerous work. You're a raging feminist.

The patriarchy isn't "men." Both men and women contribute to it and are responsible for it. There's "women aren't cut out for..." which is the side everyone knows but it's also "if you can't provide for your family you're a deadbeat." A society that puts almost all the power in the hands of men shoulders all the responsibility on them too and it's literally killing them.

You need to ask why men find themselves doing more dangerous work and taking on more risk? Or differently why don't women feel the need to? Because in our patriarchal society that's where the bar is for men. That's the role men have been placed into whether they want it or not. Here's a quote from The Bell Jar that distills it perfectly -- "what a man wants is is an arrow into the future and what a woman is is the place the arrow shoots off from." [1] Men are expected to be the forerunners striking it out into the unknown and women are expected to provide stability. And the idea is ingrained from birth.

[1] For context Sylvia and the protagonist Esther violently disagree with this.