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"We are really excited to work with Sam, OpenAI 2.0, the team and the new board of directors who we strongly believe will achieve great things in partnership with Microsoft. We've already signed new deals to strengthen this relationship and more details will be coming soon."

- Satya (probably)

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24 hours later and the real life one was:

"We are encouraged by the changes to the OpenAI board. We believe this is a first essential step on a path to more stable, well-informed, and effective governance. Sam, Greg, and I have talked and agreed they have a key role to play along with the OAI leadership team in ensuring OAI continues to thrive and build on its mission. We look forward to building on our strong partnership and delivering the value of this next generation of AI to our customers and partners."

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