I don't feel like I am. That said, I'm sure that's what a lot of people who are hard to work with would say.

I'm opinionated and willing to stand up for what I believe is correct, but I'm soft spoken. I think the difference between the DBA and myself is that I am very open to other people's opinions and ideas. A fair number of my coworkers followed me here from a previous job.

For a while, I was being a little harsh and short with people on code reviews. I could sense how people were reacting though and actively sought to be better. I worked with a friend who is a software mentorship advocate on how to better communicate effectively.

As much as I hate the term, I think a little emotional intelligence and self reflection goes a long way.