Nobody thinks the artificial equalization provided by things like affirmative action actually is equality - the hope is that by putting a finger on the scale in favor of equality of opportunity, eventually society (after several generations of induced equity) will actually become equitable because the society itself has been altered.
to suggest that this is not a worthwhile goal essentially means that you think the status quo is fine because it affords you certain advantages that you did nothing to achieve. if you think that demanding people "lighten up" or accept that they shouldn't be a part of things because they can't hack it is actually an objectivist or libertarian ideal, you just don't understand the unfair advantages you have actually already been afforded by birthright.