your examples, "fighting for control with your instructor" and "lying" expose nothing about flight simulators. Instrument flying entails learning not to rely on physical sensations and to rely on the instruments. Practicing things and preflight preparation reduces cognitive load freeing you to better handle unexpected situations that might come up.
people who have never flown before have landed planes in emergencies. but people also get in accidents with their instructors. instructors who are doing it for their own purpose of racking up hours toward their own advancement are especially not incented to cut the number of hours you'll need them instructing you. thinking that any flying is safe, like flying with an instructor, is the type of arrogant attitude that gets you into trouble.
source: i've never even flown a simulator, but I've got many hours in blancolirio, pilot debrief, etc.