Two of those can be fixed with a simple calendar entry. We do that with subscriptions but also with things like AirBNB bookings where you can cancel up to x weeks in advance.
That's cool that you've found a system that works to avoid the abuse, but it's still abusive.
Which part is abusive? I might view that last item as a sort of dark pattern (exploiting the sunk cost fallacy), but I still fail to see how it's abusive. If you're not using the service, cancel your subscription? Is everything you don't like even slightly now qualified as ABUSE?
The hostile “you must call into an understaffed call center and hold for several hours” is definitely abusive. I believe NYT was particularly bad about this in the past.
You acknowledge it's a dark pattern, but then excuse it. Dark patterns are 100% abuse.