[flagged]
I'd argue that if you can remember people's names, you can remember their preferred pronouns - and that if you can't, or refuse to because you think it's "weird crap", they won't feel comfortable with you working there either.
I frequently in a meeting am unsure if I have or when I have met the person before, although I do find their face familiar. That is the first level of awkwardness to solve for me. Should I tell them "nice to meet you!" or "great to see you again after such a long time!".
I'll humor transpeople since they offer some visual cue in either direction but enbies are deliberately obtuse and go ballistic when you get it wrong. I have more issue playing ball with them since this cycle amounts to coercive obedience training.
The rest of it is being ostracized for refusing to acknowledge the black floor tiles are lava. Redefining the reality of others is literal brainwashing. In fostering this sort of environment you're running a cult, not a company.
When you're afflicted with gender dysphoria, technically it's you who's engaging in misgendering since you refuse to recognize your own gender (or its pronouns). It starts with you.
But self-loathing doesn't make for a compelling persecution story, so you project it onto me. It's my fault. I'm hurting you, by not validating your beliefs. This is actual fucking coercion. I thought we're all about consent these days? I don't consent to you mindfucking me.
You make it sound like I go out of my way to rub it in people's faces, but I don't. I just want to be left alone. I'll call anybody whatever they want, if they address me as Oh Glorious Leader in return.
Maybe you're having trouble finding companies that won't fire you because companies are selecting for employees who recognize peers as actual humans. You won't take my advice, but I think you should consider that other perspectives exist and try to grow.
You don’t use any pronouns?
I'm over 40, have been working since I was a teen, and I have understanding and empathy for things like preferred pronouns. Genuine appreciation for this can come from seeing how things were for people before we improved awareness and sensitivity. In practice, our improvements aren't always perfect, and they sometimes get misapplied or abused, but overall, people are trying, and some social/societal things are improving. Try to see past the rough spots and growing pains.
Even Leetcode interviews (which I think are very bad for software engineering), you can see why that gets cargo-culted. Especially if someone has never had a pre-puzzles/Leetcode interview, and doesn't know it can be better.
> I'm over 40, have been working since I was a teen, and I have understanding and empathy for things like preferred pronouns. Genuine appreciation for this can come from seeing how things were for people before we improved awareness and sensitivity.
Same, actually. I made more of an effort two decades ago. My patience has been exhausted with the number of "victims" who prove to be cruelly antagonistic when you look under their sympathy narrative. In 20 years my good will has been twisted into: trust nobody, and if I'm feeling sorry for ___, it's a grift.
(As a minor case in point, look at the expectations surrounding charity these days. If you give anything at all, you're shamed and berated for not giving more. wtf?)
Israel's current antics are unsurprising; every subculture has quietly adopted the Nazi lebensraum playbook of crying oppression and attacking civilians to make gains for themselves. Tolerance and forgiveness is never advocated by progressives (feminists will, occasionally). "Lie, cheat, shame and kill/cancel" are their only moves.
It makes for a world that is crueler than it needs to be. You and I are just the cobblestones paving the road for someone else to advance their idea of progress. I don't consent to that.
knock it off, you’re making us all look bad.
the pronoun issue is your own, however, and speaks nothing to the character of colleagues who may be genderqueer. they aren’t aliens, they’re human beings.