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Comment by SirMaster | Hacker News Reader

As a 36 year old, I still don't understand what people find so compelling or addicting about social media.

OK you can argue that HN is social media, and so I understand the reason why I like to participate in this site.

However, I am just a username and comments. I don't understand the (bigger?) social media where you post all the details and photos of your life online like facebook, instagram, and twitter, etc.

I never seemed to have a problem keeping in touch with family, friends and making new friends with my hobbies by just using in person meeting, phone calls, and basic text messaging services.

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Did you attend high school in the US? It's basically the online version of high school. They've brought all the popularity contest, show-boating "look at the nice things I do, have, etc", and gossip from high school onto social media. Many people don't grow out of that mindset.

Yes, I did go to high school in the US.

I didn't really care what people thought of me and my stuff then and so I guess I still don't now.

I guess it's not so much that I don't understand why what you are describing would be addictive and compelling if one cared about those things like being popular.

It's more of, I don't understand why so many people care so much about being popular haha. I guess I am really that abnormal and just have to accept that I will never understand it.

I guess the best I can do is to think of things that I do like and do desire and do care about, and imagine replacing them with the concepts of wanting to be popular or wanting to show off.

Or like thinking of the things that make me happy, and imagining instead that if the things on social media were what made me happy. But does social media really make people happy?

One of the things that makes me happy for instance is hiking and backpacking. Now I certainly understand that there are plenty of people who have no interest in that and if I had to explain to them why I like it so much, it would probably be hard to get them to truly understand why from my perspective.

I mean what really determines our individual interests? I guess I am just always surprised that so many people find social media interesting.

Watching sports is another one. I like playing sports, but I don't understand why so many people find sports so interesting to watch.

To get anthropological about it, humans are very strongly wired to seek approval from our immediate social groups, as your social standing was one of the most absolutely critical factors in your survival and reproduction. Especially because social exile for most of human history meant simply death.

It's not so much about people thinking that social media makes them happy. It's social media hijacking what our ancient brains think is important. This is why so many people can emphatically tell you that social media doesn't make them happy, yet they continue to consume it.

This is why I sometimes wonder why I don't fit into that mindset at all.

What happened to me that makes me not care about social media/networking and showing/proving/advertising to others what I have or do etc.

The only validation I feel that I need is my own.

So naturally it just makes it hard to understand other people's motivations in this when I am apparently missing that piece.

I don't either. But I understand that different brains have different experiences with it, and many many ppl are "having a bad time". Just like how one persons reaction to being surrounded by unhealthy food choices is different than my own.

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