Comment by anal_reactor | Hacker News Reader

Comment by anal_reactor | Hacker News Reader

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> Many don't seem able to accept that life can be fulfilling this way,

We literally have scientific research showing that loneliness is just as bad for health as smoking, so please stop with this "you can be happy single" meme, it's not even funny at this point.

There's something about modern society that completely breaks the most basic human interactions, leaving people absurdly lonely. It's a pattern that can be seen in all countries: as the society gets more developed, people stop spending time with each other. What it exactly is remains elusive, but if the same statistic shows up across completely different cultures, then it's ignorant at best and evil at worst to put the blame on individuals for failing to thrive in an environment that sets them up for failure.

This is one of the common arguments that show the people who tell me I'm wrong to claim there is no problem with being single, and it is demonstrably wrong so, no, I won't stop with the “you can be happy single” thing.

Where in my post did I say I was lonely? Not having a relationship partner does not imply being lonely: I spend plenty of time with friends, family, and other people in my hobbies. Being single does not necessarily correlate with being lonely, in fact loneliness is a common problem for people in bad relationships. So while some single people are undoubtably lonely and many people who describe themselves as lonely are single, there is a huge pile of nuance between the two concepts.

> What it exactly is remains elusive

Evolution didn't create a self-consistent mixture of drives and desires (that wasn't a priority). To me, it's not a mystery how revealed preference is at odds with the biological Ponzi scheme of having kids, suffering, and dying after preparing them to repeat the cycle. That sucks. If you have better alternatives, you take them.

single =/= lonely. Some of the most lonely people I have ever known were in a longterm relationship or marriage.

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