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Comment by ddingus | Hacker News Reader

Show him some alternatives. I grew up in a backward place too.

The single most valuable thing I learned is what is really possible to do. I got to see that because I ended up helping people of means who took me aside and showed me a look outside the place I was living.

For many, and this is true of my peer group, just knowing what is possible really mattered.

Of course I left town, found work and married someone I thought highly of and got to work building a better life.

Your son can do that too. Make sure he knows it.

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I plan on showing him alternatives so he doesn't have to learn about them they way that I did.

I moved out of my mother's home when I was 16 and I managed to graduate high school. But I left town two days after graduation and I've only been back three times in 24 years.

Had I not left Alabama, and the US, I would have likely ended up just as bigoted and close minded as most of my family. The ten years I spent outside of the US allowed me to learn a completely different perspective and finally made me realize that my mother and my other family were wrong about so many things.

My boy just turned five a few weeks ago and he's already travelled more than I did by the time I turned 21.

Mind sharing where you moved and how that prevented you from going to the road, from as you say: "just as bigoted and close minded as most of my family.", to whatever you became afterward? Do you think had you moved to another place in the US, a similar change would not have occurred, or did it have to be outside the US?

I moved to the Caribbean for 10 years. Then on to SF and later PDX. I also spent about 6 months in both NYC and Chicago in between SF and PDX. Living in the Caribbean introduced me to so many different cultures.

I ran a bar before I became a carpenter. My neighbors around my bar included people from India, Senegal, all over Europe, and Japan. I become close friends with a much older couple from Senegal and also an Indian family. They welcomed me into their homes and fed me and taught me about their music and food and such.

I likely would not have had those experiences if I remained on the mainland.

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