Exactly. In my opinion, casual CS/TF2 is the “real” game and competitive is its weird mutant offshoot. But I guess the majority of gamers today prefer hardcore competition and ranking over just dicking around and having fun.
Its much better system than one out of 5 games being balanced. Not sure where the problem is… maybe you dont like about yourself that you are actually competitive? I mean i played esports on pretty high level and i am pretty sure not going to a bathroom to keep you alert is not a thing. Sounds like pretty serious urge to win.
Good thing is i think one can learn to be less competitive, enjoy it more and it makes people even better. You can work with this and not make it all out competition.