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As far as I'm aware, he went by he/him/they/them and accepted all of them.

That's not my understanding, but I'm happy to admit a mistake and amend my post if you have a source.

I also believe marcan (another friend of Near's) commented something similar, but I can't seem to find it (I think it was on Twitter).

Near's spouse referred to Near via "he/him/his" in all of the police/consulate correspondence in the FOIA, so it seemed alright to me.