> when it seems to me the whole point of scary stories is to provide a safe place for children to feel scared and learn what it takes overcome fear.

That’s not the point of the original scary fairy tales. The point was to keep kids from danger by scaring them so much that they don’t expose themselves to said danger. The downside of this style of child raising , of course, is that kids are unable to realistically assess the danger and sometimes don’t shed their fears when they get older.