I'm not too thrilled about Vue or svelte either. But there are differences. Vue is more "relaxed" with state and effects, and svelte (and Vue 3) go the compilation route to keep the illusion a bit better. Both can get nasty quickly, with complilation hacks playing significant part.
For a current small project I started with Vue (mainly for Quasar) but switched to React due to Vue magic starting to break. Now useMemo is starting to get unwieldly, so probably switching to SolidJS or Preact/signals.
BTW not sure what you mean with the useMemo - I built very large applications in React (hundreds of complex dynamic financial analysis pages) and didn't have much problems with it - could you go into detail please?
React is a fundamentally different paradigm from the event-based DOM, but it tries to do a (leaky) stateless abstraction on it. You can have event-based APIs with different kinds of organizations. E.g. SolidJS is an event-based framework with component organization.
useMemo requires explicit tracking of dependencies, and it requires a lot of handholding to update just what is needed. Of course you can do practically anything with it, but it can get tedious and error prone.