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Comment by tomcam | Hacker News Reader

In the States saying hello to one’s coworkers is regarded as a common courtesy.

At some point you can't say hi to everyone, which is very normal. I walk by a hundred coworkers a day, and don't greet all of them, it isn't anything personal if I don't.

That said, you better believe I Do take the extra 5 seconds to say hi to my bosses when I pass them.

Yes, but if you had a close interaction with one of those hundreds 2 days ago and were very thankful back then - then it is willfully ignoring the lowly peasant, to show them and everyone else, they are now higher in the hierachy.

I think people are projecting a lot of class stuff onto this which is besides the point.

I still think it is completely normal to figure out who your close coworkers are and settle into a group after a few days.

I think it is more about organizational structure and immediacy than anything else, unless someone is actively rejecting a greeting.

I work in a department of 100, and have met just about everyone. It would be extremely weird, not to mention distracting to say high to everyone when I walk to my desk. I don't think I am an outlier in that I prioritize greeting in this setting. Yes, that means I'm probably not going to single out some intern that I worked with for a couple days.

I don't think that makes me a psychopath, and it doesn't mean I wouldn't chat with them in an elevator or some similar 1:1 circumstance.

Meeting someone is something different from receiving a personal training on the first day, which was 2 days ago at the point of the story.

> It would be extremely weird, not to mention distracting to say high to everyone when I walk to my desk.

All you have to do is attempt to make eye contact and smile.

That’s not easy for everyone

True, but we are not talking about developers on the spectrum, but traders, who are usually more social by nature.

If developers are on the spectrum then traders are sociopaths, no?

I'm pretty sure nobody cares about receiving a smile unless they're the socially awkward ones or are there for the wrong reasons (narcissists).

High quality work and facilitating the same in others is a far more courteous gesture than any awkward smiles.

> I'm pretty sure nobody cares about receiving a smile unless they're the socially awkward ones or are there for the wrong reasons (narcissists).

Are you autistic?

The vast majority of people appreciate a little eye contact and a smile which is literally the least you can do to acknowledge that they're human and not a piece of furniture.

Would you feel appreciated by a coworker who does sloppy work that you have to pick up slack for, yet smiles at you every morning? Didn't think so. It would likely make it worse in some ways, wouldn't it? You might feel pity and guilt, not happiness.

But I think most would still try to work with them to improve in good faith because that's work. The smile is irrelevant. The happiness comes when you've helped train them up. Then the smile actually means something.

On the flip side, would you feel appreciated or intimidated by a coworker who smiles at you yet carries all that soft power of deep knowledge and skills nobody else at that workplace has?

Smiles can mean a lot more than shallow acknowledgement especially in the workplace. At a social gathering though, sure the smile is just friendly.

When I walk to my working area, I see maybe 10 people and if they look at me I nod and they nod back or maybe say hi if they are closer with me. I'm not greeting a worker, I'm greeting a human being.

> Would you feel appreciated by a coworker who does sloppy work that you have to pick up slack for, yet smiles at you every morning? Didn't think so. It would likely make it worse in some ways, wouldn't it? You might feel pity and guilt, not happiness.

>But I think most would still try to work with them to improve in good faith because that's work. The smile is irrelevant.

The OP mentioned walking past a hundred peoples' desks. Do you really need to feel appreciated by a hundred random coworkers to act like a decent human being?

> Do you really need to feel appreciated by a hundred random coworkers to act like a decent human being?

No... ? Where did you get this impression?

Anyway I think we're approaching a learning moment in work culture differences.

Anyone who does heads down work expresses appreciation through competence and willingness to help. When you're in a tight spot and need a solution, getting that help is better than all the smiles in the world. That's teamwork. You can genuinely smile after. I'm not against smiles. I'm just saying they don't mean anything in and of themselves.

Maybe you rubbed a raw nerve because you made me think of those cheesy appreciation e-cards I remember from a previous job a while back. That's about as soulless as it gets.

Smiling usually doesn't, and shouldn't, get you anywhere.

Also trading floors are intense and require focus.

Not really, you're going to meet a whole heap of people in your first few days. It's pretty overwhelming! They person who ran you through some software but otherwise isn't a day-to-day contact isn't going to stick in your head for long!

If you use that software daily, I would disagree.

I remember all my (good) instructors.

More so if the lesson was 2 days ago.

This doesn't strike me as wrong, but does surprise me. I have had friendly relations with the front desk at most of my positions. And we literally didn't know each other's names. Still nice when they notice a dropped thing of mine. And I didn't get too many chances to help them. Did where I could. And a smile and general conversation is not exactly easy, but you don't get good at things without practice.

Heck, janitorial staff should get more than ignored.

So yeah, odd to drop into such a divide.

There is a big difference between seeing someone 1:1 vs in a crowd, as well as the corporate culture of an environment.

If everyone is rushed and miserable, they aren't going to be throwing out pleasantries as they rush through the halls.

But throwing out pleasantries is a good way to avoid rush and misery?

I doubt the global head of support for a major bank is seen as a lowly peasant

Maybe you are right. Head mechanic or Butler might have been the better metapher.

Who suggested one should say hi to “everyone”? Was something edited out of a parent post or TFA?

I thought that was the point of your post (e.g. that it is a breach of common curtesy to skip greeting someone.)

Is it? In the US the majority of my coworkers just drop in (virtually or not) to ask questions without saying hi (even at the start of a sentence containing the question). That's not true for other countries.

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