One colloquial term for the guillotine was (is?) "le rasoir national" = "the national razor."

Other colorful terms include "the regretful climb", "the silence mill", "Capet's necktie", "the patriotic shortener", "half-moon", "timbers of justice", and "Charlot's rocking-chair".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guillotine#Names_for_the_guill...

Run that with a Feather blade, and buddy, you will be facesturbating all day.