Comment by axegon_ | Hacker News Reader

Comment by axegon_ | Hacker News Reader

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I have a slightly different take: office is a good thing for some people. I am not wildly sociable. If anything I'm borderline unapproachable if you just randomly walk up to me on the street and start talking to me. When COVID hit and we were all sent home, I had been working at that job for 8 years and I had automated pretty much everything in my day to day work - even the most busy days, I could get everything I had to do in less than 2 hours so all of a sudden, I was all day in my apartment, which is spacious and with views that are second to none in my city. The following 8 months up until I had to quit were the best time of my life. I had the time to read hundreds of books, work on personal projects, get in the best shape I've ever been by a long shot, got a dog. It was absolutely awesome. But time moved on and the few people I was close to prior to that and I just drifted apart and while we were together basically on daily basis before covid, now we call each other on birthdays at best. We see each other twice a year tops: They all moved on with their lives, got married, had children, etc. I did none of that for a million and one reasons and because I worked from home 100%, ultimately completely lost my social life. And now that I can(and actively am) going back to an office, I truly feel happy: despite still not being the most social creature, at least I see people and get to talk to someone. Although I do have to admit - working at a company where literally everyone is cool and down to earth certainly makes it easy. If that were at my old job, there's a good chance I would have become very aggressive and extremely likely violent towards several individuals.

My social life took a hit as well when I switched to remote work. I'm too comfortable being alone.

When I worked at office I had to get out of my comfort zone and socialize a bit with colleagues, chit chat, going for launch together, and in the retrospect it was nice to get small daily doze of social interactions.

I sometimes miss going to the office, hybrid thing (2-3 days in the office) would be probably ideal.

Thanks for sharing it. This is something that I noticed. Office Working and University are very good opportunities to become more social and have a dosis of interaction. Choosing their own hobbies while sounds easy, is something that we keeping postponing.

Too many peoples social and professional lives are entwined. They aren't meant to be the same thing.

Have you heard of the phrase "never mix business with pleasure"? It isn't about sexual harassment policies. It's general life advice, meant to save you from becoming a recluse who loses all of his friends if he loses his job or whose work suffers because he's paying attention to something other than the bottom line.

For your own mental health, I'd work on making some friends outside of the office. No matter HOW cool they are at the office.

Not necessarily. My hobbies and interests are very specific so finding like minded individuals, even in a large city, is practically impossible otherwise. I.e. not my last job but the one before - even though I quit it nearly 2 years ago, I stayed close friends with two of the guys there and we are in touch on daily basis - we just live in different countries. If anything, at this point they are closer to me than most people I've ever known and it's safe to say I'm speaking on behalf of all of us.

Again, that just happens sometimes. For comparison, I wouldn't bat an eyelash about anyone from my old job, with the exception of the hr and qa lead. Everyone else - I hope I never see them again in my life.

> Everyone else - I hope I never see them again in my life.

Wow, quite a strong statement. Personally I'm not much friends with ppl from work, my feelings are neutral. If I see some ex-colleague from work, I'll say hello and maybe some small talk. But that practically never happens, because I've been moving a lot.

If your hobbies and interests are so specific that they prevent you from living a normal healthy life they are maladaptive. You should add new ones that allow you to have healthy social engagements with other human beings.

It's not even that social and professional lives are intertwined as much as going to the office everyday makes it easy to do other stuff too. When working remote most days I wouldnt leave my house other than maybe a quick walk. When I go to the office Im much more likely to make plans with my friends after.

Could not agree more. Let's keep it professional by maintaining some distance.

I don't make friends on the workplace, never will, had once but it was a mistake. Therefore I enjoy the sterility of remote work more than in person work.

So many people here seem creepily entitled to friendships at work. I am there to work, not be your friend.

> entitled

> not be your friend

Ironic.

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