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I swear I can't tell which of these comments are sarcastic/parody and which are actual answers.

A sort of quantum commenting conundrum, I guess.

They are both, just until the moment you try to read them

This subthread are among the best comments I've read in this website.

I read them as sarcastic. Please reply here with your output.

Since you read them as sarcastic, I also read them as sarcastic. Quantum entanglement at work.