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Comment by spondylosaurus | Hacker News Reader

The poly vs open distinction is interesting because (anecdotally) I see some variation there between gay and lesbian relationships—it seems like gay dudes are more likely to be in a door-ajar couple, whereas the throuples I know are usually groups of lesbians!

Conversely, I don't see many poly gay dudes or door-ajar lesbian couples, and lesbians might be more monogamous on average.

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Sounds like you haven't heard of UHauling. It's a trope that many lesbians are highly relationship oriented and things get serious really quickly.

I didn’t, and didn’t even know those behaviors. Discovered two staple of LGBT humour that are great, hope it doesn’t sound rambling for those who know it:

Question: What does a lesbian bring on a second date? Answer: A U-Haul.

——

Question: What does a gay man bring on a second date? Answer: What second date

Oh, I've heard of it... and have even been accused of doing it, lol. But I'm not sure it counts as u-hauling if you talk about marriage within the first month and then take another decade to tie the knot :P

> I don't see many poly gay dudes

From my experience. I only know a few poly gay men. I know far more gay couples in open relationships that have similar lines that I do when it comes to anything beyond that.

I mean, for sure those lines get blurry. Things that you may traditionally associate with dating like cuddling on the couch at a party (just a party, not anything more) or similar things. But, there is still that line.

I do wonder why that seems to be the case. I am reluctant to get into stereotypes to explain it...

This can't be the whole story, but probably significant that gay hookup apps are light-years ahead of lesbian hookup apps :P

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