Partly it’s having a constant discussion about society, the world, and news in general. We talk about how advertisers are trying to manipulate you, social media can be addicting and is also trying to manipulate you, etc. Not an angry way, a discussion, like how magnets work or how rain forms. Just the facts ma’am.

As for permissions, my oldest avoided all social media except iMessage (because for her age that is essentially the phone line), and only got Insta at 16 — but I had the password not her, so she could give out her @handle to people to connect, but she would only go only into the fray once a week with us around (vs the zombie doom scroll scenario for instance). We will probably allow Snapchat soon since it’s becoming the new “basic” connection — I’ve not used it, so does it have a feed and likes?

My younger kids all have iPads and the 13 year old had an iPhone — they use them for music and audio books so end up in their rooms even at night. I don’t love that, but I have on tight screentime so I hope that is helping a bit.

I wish there was a good device for ONLY music and audio books, like a souped up iPod. I locked down enough I think her iPad is limited to that, but it’s not obvious. We tried Alexa devices but navigating audio books is impossible and even song selection was tedious. Kindles could almost do it but we are Apple Music family and don’t think there’s and app, and the audio book library app is finicky, and I find kindles pretty kludgy in general.