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It tracks, actually. Men tend to pick a sexual orientation and be disgusted by the other sexual orientation[0]. Women are a lot more hetero- (and homo-) flexible.

[0] It works both ways! A guy once told me and my wife that we made a cute couple despite how disgusting heterosexuality really was. And I was like... okay, thanks?

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Not completely true. Most men are not disgusted by a lesbian couple. I don’t mean just men that fetishize about it. But many are disgusted or at least discomforted by seeing gay men being romantic.

Thought experiment: if a wife in a heterosexual marriage told her husband that she previously had relationships with women, I know many men (including me) who would just shrug and move on and not really think about it.

On the other hand, a man couldn’t just tell his wife most of the time that he slept with men before

Silly question, but on that last point, why? (I can't imagine, but I'm unimaginative.)

My guess is gender roles? Women don’t see gay men as “masculine” while men don’t see gay women as less feminine.

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