Have you looked at what the actual implementation code of tokio / axum etc looks like?
I can't comment on DB because that is quite far out of my wheelhouse but regarding game engines, I've almost universally seen people revert to storing objects in arrays and passing around "handles" which is literally pointers with extra steps... But I guess at least you are protected from some issues there.
Rust forces absurd levels of abstraction onto code very early and if you are wrong you need to make sweeping refractors.
I really want to love the language, but building bottom up is extremely difficult with it, it may be Stockholm syndrome and familiarity but I can generally get much further into a project much quicker in C++.
In Rust it feels like I'm fighting the language and it's not the borrow checker.
There are so many great ideas in Rust and I keep trying it because of them, don't get me wrong I do think a safer language is the future but Rust isn't there yet. Every time I try it it's better though.