hey -- I'm not sure what's got you thinking this, but I'd encourage you to consider that the way things seem when we're in emotional states (even long-lasting ones) aren't always reflective of the way things are.
> I'm not going to pretend this life is a paradise
Who has ever claimed that it is?
My response was not "life is paradise", but rather a reminder that emotional states can vary your perception of how nightmarish/paradise-ish life actually is.
—Oscar Wilde, De Profundis
I'm personally more inclined to the idea that the joy one experiences can make all the suffering fade away into meaninglessness. Perhaps my wife or child will die before me, and it'll be painful. But still, better they were than were not, and I would smile when thinking of them.
I don't know if one approach can be considered 'correct' over the other... but I know which approach I'd recommend. It may be very difficult to change, though.