"Woops you want to query that column? Better wait 12 hours while we add an index to petabytes of data! Oh shoot, and that column too? Another 12 hours, and you have to use both columns in the where to use the index. "
If you are storing xml files for your column-oriented DB then you should be shot. I imagine protocol buffers or something like that might be smarter. IMO.
Your other stuff is way off base as well, but I'm lazy.