Hacker News Reader

you would need to be the Buddha to feel nothing. And note jealousy type things, but say someone who you thought was a friend but was sabotaging you or bad for you... a toxic person. Jealousy is inane.

View on HN

The point is not to feel nothing, the point is not to get lost in the feeling. There’s a big difference.

Check out The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer

I think this is something that easily gets lost in discussions about feelings/emotions. There's a difference between how you feel and how you act based on it; feeling an emotion is a natural response that you can't control, but that doesn't determine how you act based on that emotion, even if it does bias you towards certain actions. In my experience, being able to maintain a distinction between those things is hugely important in being able to consistently choose how to act independent of that bias.

The key for me is understanding that the emotion itself isn't a choice, and therefore isn't something I need to try to control it feel guilty about. Feeling angry or jealous or sad is unavoidable, but feeling those emotions without acting in ways that fuels them without any other reason often ends up making people feel worse for longer. I don't want to make it seem like I don't struggle with this as much as anyone else, but the times when I've been able to follow my own advice about this pretty much universally have ended up better for me than the times when I let my emotions dictate my actions.

I think Buddha would feel it, sit with it, and let it go on its own.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com