As a concerted urbanite i totally agree with you. The problem is that people like the author are arguing for a third type of place, the suburb, which is unsupportable and harms us. Its a post-war experiment which has largely failed.
If you choose a lifestyle that requires more to be spent per capita on roads, utilities, and public services then you should pay for that cost.
Suburbs themselves should also have variety. People love small towns, but instead of a mix of small towns with vibrant dense centers surrounded by less dense housing options, we just build sameness stretching in all directions.
To me, the fundamental reason behind suburban failure is the lack of affordable housing in the city, forcing city mice to move out to suburbia, bringing their city mice habits and expectations with them. Build more housing in cities, and suburban problems will work themselves out.
But we tend to resist upzoning existing low-density development that is now in the density gravity well of the expanding city, keeping housing prices artificially inflated.