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Comment by jrochkind1 | Hacker News Reader

They call that too:

> There are two reactions that one could have to the previous section. “Wow, that’s cool, how he developed the ability to create a lot of deep connections in this lonely world.” And: “that is a weird and creepy thing to want, sounds kind of vampiric.” I believe that both reactions are correct in some proportion.

> Here is the thing about going around the world in a state of emotional openness and presence. Many people are hungry for that kind of attention. They might dream of getting it from a parent, or a mentor, or a lover, but might never receive it. Maybe never in their lives. And if you just walk up and give it to them, for free — but you aren’t actually interested in a deep relationship — then they might, rightfully, feel manipulated, or at least confused. You are writing them emotional checks you can’t cash.

This post actually kind of blows my mind.

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> This post actually kind of blows my mind.

I suggest re-reading it from some different perspectives. Consider that the narrator may not be entirely reliable. They way they talk about being able to read other people and manipulate them into a sense of openness and connection has some hints of behaviors that are associated with people who view themselves as superior to others and view others as mere targets for their superior intellect to manipulate.

In this case, it’s worth considering that maybe the blog post itself is yet another chapter in their experimentation with manipulating others into a sense of connection, and the text is written in a persuasive way to leave the reader thinking that they have been blessed with some openness and revelation from the author. In other words, it’s crafted in a way to generate some of the same false sense of connection describe in the article, with the stories and claims crafted to target what the target audience wants to hear.

Something to think about when reading it, at least.

It's stages in their life and it goes from manipulation to letting go. Even the manipulation was not malicious -- they just wanted to have "better" experiences with other people (and maybe upsell an entrée at first).

And as a socially awkward individual I found it quite interesting.

Yes. He literally started his journey as being the most bullied kid in school. His intention was mainly to be accepted.

No it was to learn the biggest bully tricks to become the best bully

Did we read the same article?

If so, I missed all references of him bullying other people.

So an emotional quine?

From that approach you could view (almost?) all human communication as artificial unreliable manipulation. And not be entirely wrong. But you could also view that same (almost?) all human communication as authentic attempts to connect and heal (including heal the speaker), if sometimes misguided, and not be entirely wrong either.

I am not sure I like what it does to my experience in the world to view all human communication as selfish manipulation. Although I recognize the pull to do so can come from an attempt to protect oneself based on past harm.

I remember being in my early twenties very awkwark. I read a few books on socializing. I basically did what this post is describing. It takes sustained effort and writing those emotional checks costs you more than you think to both parties.

It isnt hard to engage on a deep level with people but most dont for a reason. It is exhausting and can send the wrong signals.

It’s the root of secure attachment and clear boundaries something missing in the majority of the world unfortunately

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