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But somehow, apps and websites load just as fast on my decade old personal laptop as on my brand new work laptop.

The antivirus / EDR / monitoring / inventory software that most corporate IT departments installs ages computers ten years. We constantly had problems with such services slamming the disk, holding files open, breaking software, running CPUs at 100%, etc.

Crowdstrike Falcon is likely the only reason my work M1 Pro machine runs like a dog. Any time it's being a laggy piece of junk you can open Activity Monitor and see Falcon just slamming it.

Not my problem. You wouldn't need an antivirus with a properly locked browser with UBlock Origin and OFC no damn HTML email. GPO's blocking anything not being under an executable whitelist.

If any, your email client should open any attachment under a sandbox, such as Sandboxie, under a libre license:

https://github.com/sandboxie-plus/Sandboxie

Of course no Office macros would be allowed, ever.

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