There is so much wrong with this post, that I actually flagged it.
> (on the chest, hard, 60 times a minute)
What? You need about 100-120 times per minute to have any hope of building up any vascular pressure to perfuse tissue. You lose that within seconds of stopping compressions and it takes time to build up.
This is absolutely not what you should be doing. The physiology works, but generally on people with a pulse. And generally not for anything therapeutic but diagnostic (it's mostly used to assess fluid responsiveness).
> By doing so you increase blood return to the central circulation — the heart and lungs, where it's needed to restore spontaneous heartbeat — from the periphery, where it's irrelevant for survival in a circulatory crisis.
This is not basic physiology, it's inaccurate in many ways. Much arrest, regardless of cause, is an electrical issue, hence defibrillation as one of the two markers towards potential survival "early access to defib and effective chest compressions". (Also, think of defib as rebooting the heart, not jump-starting it). Getting blood to the cardiac muscle (better hope there's no tamponade) is doing very little in itself to restart the heart - I can push oxygenated blood around your body all day with excellent compressions but it's not kicking you out of asystole.
> The best part is that you can't do any harm.
I mean, it absolutely can. For one, laypeople are notoriously "not great" at diagnosing cardiac arrest in all but the most obvious cases, in which case survival odds are poor. That's why we tell people to begin compressions if the patient is unresponsive. It's hard enough to teach new EMTs to reliably find a weak/thready carotid pulse or the absence thereof.
Better hope your patient doesn't have spinal injuries. Better hope your patient doesn't have pulmonary edema, better hope your patient isn't having a stroke or other issues around intracranial pressure.
Stop fucking around with urban legends and debunked theories (once upon a time, for hypovolemic shock, a variation of this was used) and get on the chest. Shitty chest compressions are better than none.
This is so ... problematic and simplistic, and doesn't actually solve the problem.