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I dunno, I think he's pretty charismatic. He has all these researchers wanting to spend time with him.

Sure but biologists will talk to anything. You know what happened to the other tortoises? Bored to death.

He's basically been networking for 194 years without ever leaving the garden

Yeah, but is he more charismatic than Bryan Johnson?

Wait till he gets his hands on turtle semen and peptides

My supplement company has a product, PeptiShell Vital Peak, that has been selling in volume to a mystery buyer for the past few months. Things that make you go hmmm.

The oldest gay tortoise there is. You can hear the grunts when he and Frederick are fucking from the other side of the valley.

To be fair, he's had 194 years to work on his charisma. At this point it's a choice

whats the point to living longer if you're not living life

The hare really ought to take notes