I think you are desperately trying to universalize the particular as a way to reconcile the two conflicting ideological frames you're trying to uphold, and I think your country exhibits the same ideological crisis.

As a simple counterexample to this universalism, think of the European Union. Germany and France could impose their will on smaller neighbors (and did, in less enlightened times!), but they don't, because y'know, they actually believe in rule of law, consent and consensus.

Or as an example closer to home - the Canada / US relationship before recent American aggression.

Things don't have to work by unilateral aggression. It is a specific ideological choice, it is not a law of nature. Now I understand it might feel different while enveloped in said ideology (it literally determines what we perceive to be possible after all!), the same way a Muslim fanatic would attribute everything to Allah's plan, but I'm not really interested in self-justifications.