An anecdote: I've been using my iPad everyday since I bought it. Laptops and desktops much less so (though mainly because I don't have a good work set-up atm.) Recently I was on my Macbook and someone called me on Skype. Incredibly, it took me around four seconds of prodding the "answer call" button on screen with my finger before it struck me that I wasn't working with a touchscreen!

Anyway, I'm sure that won't answer all of your objections, and while I agree with you in principle - about screens wobbling for instance - I have to reject your claim that a touchscreen laptop is totally useless. At the very least, with a well-thought out new interface paradigm, you gain small-to-medium boosts in everyday productivity while losing nothing in base functionality. You only add a new interaction option while taking away none of the previous mouse-and-keyboard functionality. That's why nobody is proposing taking away keyboards from touchscreen laptops - because clearly physical keyboards are better than touchscreen keyboards. So your argument about touchscreens being bad for typing are moot, because everybody is going to just use the keyboard in that instance.

I do see a lot of use for touchscreens on laptops in the sort of situation I described earlier - pushing large, clear buttons on screen. This is actually a case where current laptops are miserably unfunctional. Even on a plush, responsive trackpad such as a Macbook's, remotely manipulating a small cursor from one arbitrary spot onscreen to another arbitrary spot and clicking is very inefficient. Being able to simply reach out and tap the screen on the exact spot is much better. This use-case for touchscreen laptops could become even more widespread if popular software begins to follow Microsoft's design cues with large, clear buttons.