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Comment by mock-possum | Hacker News Reader

In my experience, you go against the grain because you want to, despite the grain. The thing you get by going against the grain is the thing you want, despite the socially imposed friction.

OP could have gotten to play the flute, despite the bullying.

It’s not being a martyr for nothing, it’s being a martyr for your own sake.

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Speaking from the perspective of an ameteur musician, I play the saxophone. If I were to get bullied for it and have my social life ruined in high school, I would have switched instruments and be just as happy playing trumpet or clarinet or whatever, the actual instrument I play... doesn't matter that much to me, music brings joy regardless of what you play. Maybe that's not true for others, but IMO I would prefer to have a good social life and play a different instrument, than play my particular flavour of wood/metal tube and be ostracized from my peers. Just my opinion though, others may not feel this way.

I feel like that’s the wrong takeaway from bullying though.

The problem is not that you picked the ‘wrong’ instrument and the solution is to reroute to the ‘right’ instrument

The problem is that you’re being bullied for any arbitrary instrument to begin with. Capitulating to bullies does not placate them, it encourages them.

After all, if they bullied you for something so stupid as playing the saxophone, what’s to prevent them from waking up tomorrow and bullying you for playing the clarinet? What will you do then, switch to the next reed instrument?

Is your plan to spend the rest of your life letting your bullies dictate which instrument you play?

Speaking from the perspective of a fellow amateur musician, that is a shitty plan.

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