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> (vi seems to be on every *nix machine without fail).

I tend to uninstall vi and install ed on my machines, it is just enough and about 90% smaller! :)

TRAMP & eshell would help you achieve 100% your local Emacs productivity on remote machines, and 100% smaller (you actually don't need to install anything on remote machine) :-)

Emacs is there, too, of course, ed is just for the guys who complain that they want vi :-)

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