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Dear Employees:

You're all going on minimum wage. Don't like it - we are ready to deploy JournalistBot 1.0.

Oh, and we're moving to North Carolina so we can fire you anytime.

Love, Jeff.

P.S. Feel free to compete with JournalistBot 1.0 on wages by accepting tasks on Amazon Mechanical Turk. I've already created accounts for all of you and given you approval to work on WaPo hits. The going rate is $1.00 per 500 word article.

Rename Raleigh to Washington and they won't even need to change the paper's header.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com