Everyone's an asshole to someone at some point about some thing. It's simply a matter of perception and unmet expectations.

You expect something from someone for which ever your reason might be and what ever their relationship to you could be. That expectation is unmet and you'll most likely think of them as assholes.

Jobs was an asshole in more than one way. Having a "bold, opinionated leader" is one thing. Having a partner who stiffs you of a fair share is something else. (Good thing is Woz is so forgiving.)