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And you can still buy an iPad 2 brand-new, likely for the same price you paid...

Yes, this is true, especially in the past (up to the iPhone 4/ iPad era). Obviously hardware dependent features aren't there (eg siri when new, iOS7 camera, M7, etc) either.

Still, I have zero issues with iOS 7 on my iPad 2 and my parents are happy on their 4S.

That sounds like you have a bigger problem, iOS 7 runs just fine on my iPad 2.