This is the experience you get with traditional merchant accounts (what every business had before 3rd-party processors like Square and PayPal, and most large and B&M businesses still use). You get chargebacks, you lose the money immediately, you often lose the disputes even if you shipped items, and if your CB rate is over 1% of your monthly volume for a few months, your account gets closed. Period. The only way to stay in business if you're a target for fraud is to become very good at screening orders, whether it's through systems or manual review, because nobody else is going to protect you.

This is the value of PayPal's Seller Protection Program, which people probably undervalue since they've never dealt with a real merchant account. If you sell with PayPal, and ship a tangible to the address on the buyer's PayPal account, and have proof of shipment, you have 100% liability protection. Someone charges back the payment, and it's PayPal's problem, not yours; even if they lose, you don't lose your money.