Turn off corner navigation.
> What I hate about Windows 8 is that it has two kinds of applications, from apparently two different universes and they can't interact, or if they can I can't figure it out. I just pretend one of them doesn't exist.
Metro and desktop applications can and do happily interact, I don't understand what you mean here.
> What I hate about Windows 8 is that I have to right click on start button
Why do you have to? You get a menu if you do but you don't have to, you used to get a menu if you right clicked the start button in Windows 7
> You drag your mouse into the top corner, then drag down to see all the open applications, this list also includes metro applications.
Just use Alt-Tab it works like it always has, you don't even need to see Metro
> The Windows 8 search thing is not even remotely as good as the old Windows 7 search
Here I have to respectfully disagree, IMHO the search in 8 is way better than in 7
Without wanting to make you even more angry and annoyed every one of the other issues seems to basically boil down to things have changed a bit and I don't like change.