Let's say in SF you get $150k and put 10% away with a 5% match. That's $22,500 per year you're socking away into your 401k. If you live in Orlando and you're making $90k/yr and put 10% away with a 5% match that's $13,500, a net loss of $9k every year in early retirement savings. After compound growth over 40 years of maturity that's going to be a TON of cash. As long as you don't plan on RETIRING in SF, you're much better off working there.
From my experience, that delta is higher in low expense areas. The assumption I'm making is that the typical HN'er is a top performer who can demand top percentile salary in any market, or work remotely.
The hack I recommend is getting SF salary in low-cost area.
I work in rural MA and make considerably more than the given SF salary (non-remote). The SF salary is probably better on average (the 50 percentile), but I stand by my statement that top performers can command SF salaries in any market. Even if you can't find something local, there are a ton of remote options.
I really enjoy owning a house. I wouldn't be able to afford it in SF. I bought a nice 3/2 in Orlando for only $110k a couple years ago. My dog loves it too. :) So there's also that.