Package management is a fractal problem; look at it from a high level and it all looks simple and they all look similar... zoom in and the similarities start falling away.

It's probably theoretically possible to build a meta-package-manager that really could make everybody happy, but it's difficult to imagine what project structure could get us there, and it's also difficult to imagine how to incrementally develop such a thing in a way that it is immediately useful to everybody. Without that you've got a barrier to deal with.

If you view an individual language package manager as essentially creating a container for the code to run in, a combination of Docker plus the Nix package manager is probably getting pretty close to what everybody needs, but you'd still have a long row to hoe getting everybody even remotely on board.