That is horseshit. When somebody works to take away your civil rights, a desire for tolerance does not require you to politely say, "Oh, gosh, you go on ahead and oppress us then." An open mind isn't an empty mind.
Personally, I don't see it as hypocrisy. In the case of those opposed to Prop 8, people aren't arguing for some generic tolerance, they're arguing for civil rights, including equality before the law. Most of the gay people I've talked to figure the prejudiced are going to keep on with their hating; they just don't want that bigotry enshrined in law.