You're trying to force it. That's not going to work.

Stop. Get a job. A job that you like.

Then just be good at it. Better yet, be the best at it, and make sure it is something you are passionate about and talented in.

It really is that simple.

Nobody wants to invest in somebody with a bunch of failed entrepreneurial ventures. But if you sit back, take a check, work on cool shit and build an impressive body of work, well then perhaps people will be more willing to invest in you.

And for god's sake, go bang your girlfriend and give her a massage.