And to continue....

Smalltalk - the most perfectly made jacket in the entire world but when you put it on, all your other clothes disappear.

Javascript - A jacket with legholes where the armhole should be, but you wear it because everyone else is wearing one.

Visual Basic - A jacket made out of bits of old carpet.

Haskell - A highly technically advanced jacket made out of nano particles that configure themselves to the wearer, but nobody wears them as the instruction manual is written in Sanskrit.

I disagree with your Perl jacket... a Modern Perl jacket would come with a magic incantation that when said over the jacket, it turns it into a bad-ass leather jacket that comes with a free Harley Davidson.