Comment by brudgers | Hacker News Reader

Comment by brudgers | Hacker News Reader

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A few years ago, I was coaching my son's recreational soccer team. I wasn't involved in the all too common youth league shenanigans where coaches 'request' players and it was reflected in the average level of experience and athleticism of the children. Then again it didn't really occur to me to try. Anyway, against the odds the team advanced through the year end tournament and to all the way to the finals...of a U10 local rec league.

Because we were playing the most stacked team I decided that the best chance of winning would be to limit the playing time of the two weakest players - something I had not done all season. The kids lost 9-1, anyway.

Bad choices I made when I was young, don't bother me. Part of being young is not knowing better. This one was different. I went against being the kind of person I want to be, and asking myself "Is that action the sort of action that is consistent with the kind of person I want to be?" is for me the essence of ethical action.

I bring this up to point out that the idea you are thinking about isn't validated. If you're going to steal it, own the action. Don't pretend that bringing along the CEO guy with the website changes anything morally or ethically - injustice upon one person or two or three are all morally equivalent.

The worst case scenario isn't that the business fails, it's if you hurt people and it fails. You won't even have the ends justifying the means. It's fucking web app not a cure for cancer.

Keep a healthy perspective and good luck.

Off-topic to OP, but relevant to your story:

As a child, I was a very competitive soccer player. The only league available for me to play in was the local rec league, where everyone got roughly equal playing time and many referees, coaches and parents had a very indifferent "it's just kids playing a game" attitude.

I was constantly frustrated and frequently felt insulted that something I cared so much about (winning, and playing the game properly) was being held out of reach by the adults in charge. I wanted to play the game right and let the rightful team win, but was forced to lose games by well-meaning parents who apparently didn't believe 9 year olds had the same hopes, dreams and aspirations as everyone else.

So you may regret that the two weakest players on your team didn't get to play as much one game. But somewhere out there is a 10 year old who got to experience playing the game right, and even though his team lost the final 9-1, it was probably the best game of the year to him.

Locally, there's club ball, and that's where my son has been since that season. It was also the end of my coaching career. But a few months later I took up refereeing.and that experience has radically changed my perspective on the role of adults in youth sports, and in what you say about adult expectations making the game less fun is absolutely true. More typical these days is in the other direction - adults treating U10 game victory as worth a line on the tombstone.

But I see what you are talking about among referees. There's often a lack of presence for the kids. It's an ego thing. We all think we should be working the next level up and that it's ok to phone it in.

Anyway, some great youth sport resources are Bob Bigalow's book Just let the Kids Play, the Responsible Sports podcast and the positive coaching alliance.

http://www.bobbigelow.com/bobs-book-highights/http://www.bob...

https://responsible-sports.libertymutual.com/mediahttps://re...

http://positivecoach.org/http://positivecoach.org/

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