TL;DR

Steve Ballmer

    Bye. I'm outta here. 
    People to teach. Basketball to watch. You know.
    I'll write postcards and stuff.
    Love you. SB
    
    P.S - I've got all the shares.     
    

Satya Nadella

    Whatever. I've also got loads of shares too. 
    Keep your postcards. 
    L8r amigo.