I see this story over and over again. Someone successful worked really hard and succeeded. They go on to say "I've learned that you don't have to work hard to succeed"
I've seen all four combinations of frantic/measured and smart/stupid startups, and I think that measured + smart is the way to go. But I also think that this is one of those lessons you have to learn from experience.
Just cutting out the stupid make-work doesn't take something from being ridiculously hard to being easy.
If a relationship requires hard work, then you have not the right partner to you, it's just natural, like hiking.
I think is way harder and unnatural to spend your time programming in front of a machine that hiking and loving someone, but maybe that's me.