The first rule of devops club is welcome to devops club.
The second rule of devops club is welcome to devops club!
The third rule of devops club: someone yells stop, goes limp, tests don't pass: the deployment is over. Roll back to your last known good Docker environment.
Fourth rule: only two gu^H^H devops professionals to a deployment.
Fifth rule: one deployment at a time.
Sixth rule: no bespoke one-off installations of "just this one library" in production.
Seventh rule: deployments will go on as long as they have to.
And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first night at devops club, you have to push something into production.
(Some of these are more practical than others, I'll admit. Please don't practice rule 8, and I'm not sure what rule 7 even means.)