Please forgive me if I'm misinterpreting you, but the lament you make about open source software seems to me to be more about distributed systems. It is an interesting observation, and now that you've pointed it out I can observe the pattern at past and present employers. But I have seen that pattern on internal software, written by the company for the company. This makes me think the problem is an architectural one.

I hesitate to comment about the relative velocities of open source vs proprietary software because I do not have enough experience with commercial, third party software. My sample size is too small, but I'm inclined to agree with you.

I don't disagree with your Machiavellian conspiracy, either, but I've worked in marketing and advertising so I know that some of the villains are on the payroll. Maybe there needs to be a third category? There's open source software, written by someone who has no particular relationship to you. There's commercial software, written by someone who has a positive economic relationship with you. And then there is ... corporate?... software, written by someone who might think they have a zero sum relationship with you.